If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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