So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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