i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
