Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
