last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
