so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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