Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
