She's JV to your varsity
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She needs sedatives and a leash
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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