She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
