Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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