Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
