My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
