So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
