I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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