i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize