is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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