you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize