I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
operation harelip BJ is a go
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
