Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
