Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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