I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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