ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
