We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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