can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
