So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize