It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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