party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
