he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
