and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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