Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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