so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize