I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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