It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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