I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize