Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
