Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize