Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
