I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
