your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize