Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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