Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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