I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
