you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
