My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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