youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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