I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
