her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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