if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
