; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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