he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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