i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
