I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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