Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My ass is underappreciated
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
