He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
