I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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