guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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