Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
