great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
