So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
