We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he shaved USA in his pubs
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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