I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
