I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Your penis caused this!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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