Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i out mim tonsoeep
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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