Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize