You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
