I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
