there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
