It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
